MY DEAD LOVES

Since I was five years old, I have consistently fallen love with dead people. Unfortunately I have never been able to live in same time period with my loves.

My first love was Red Kid. He had a horse, a dog and a gun. He had everything that being charismatic for a little girl. Red Kid was a cartoon, but that was not a obstacle for my love. Then I became more realistic, and I fell in love Niko :) Do you remember Niko? He was a TV series character and also he fell in love with big-mouth Nazlı. When they married in the series, I forgot him.

I can see, you are saying that they are not dead person, they are just fiction characters, but they are ancestors of my dead loves.

Let's continuo...

When I was in the high school, I terribly fell in love with Cemal Süreya. Finally I had been able to love a real person. I just had a little problem. He had already died.  Withal he had fallen love with Tomris Uyar, and she had fallen love with Turgut Uyar. You see, I was the most desperate circle of this love chain. 

Then, I fallen love with Nazım Hikmet. He was my blue-eyed giant*. My dead blue-eyed giant... And he had said “In the twentieth century grief lasts at most a year". My grief did not continue even a year because we were in the twenty-first century. 

When I listened to Leonard Cohen, I fell in love him. When I saw a Dali's painting, I fell in love that mad man. When I learned what Atatürk had done, I totaly fell in love him. (Actually this love still continues.) 

Now I love a dead person again. I was nearly achieving to be able to fall in love with an alive person, but I couldn't. He had died in 2016. Unfortunately I started to read his books in 2017. I won't say his name because I am a bit jealous of him. I don't want to share him with anybody.

Despite all, I have a source of consolation.  When I die, I will become together with all my loves!

PS: If you fell in love with a dead person before, please write me because I have started to think that I am a crazy. I need to know that I am not the only person like this.

* a poem which was written by Nazım Hikmet Ran